As I read a blog post this morning it made me reflect on my experience on finding out what making love is about. What did it meant “To Make Love” was something I wondered. Even after losing my virginity I didn’t know.
I was 25 and still a virgin. Being with someone intimately was something I had desired for a long time. My ‘sexual’ curiosity was awaken early on in my life so I pretty much lived with this curiosity for a long time. It wasn’t that I couldn’t get anybody…that is precisely why I was still a virgin at 25; I didn’t just want to give that to anybody. I wanted that “Special Someone.” Also I had been raised to believe that I needed to wait until marriage…but marriage was something that I saw way far out in the future and I just couldn’t wait. I’ve never been good at waiting. With this said, I met ‘my first’ when I was 25. We had been dating for 2 months when it happened. We had made out but never gone all the way until that rainy night. We were in the back seat of my car when things started heating up. I was scared, nervous, excited, I was not sure if I should do it. Was that really how I wanted to lose my virginity? In the back seat of my car? Did I want to give that to him? I think that desire that I had had for a while now took over me that I didn’t care. It was there already so I decided to go for it. It all happened so quickly that when it was over I was asking myself – Is that all? Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? I remember thinking that maybe next time it would feel a lot different. Well that was not the case. We had a two year relationship and most of the time it was just ‘sex.’ It was just about him…about him being pleased. I started to believe that ‘making love’ was just that…having sex.
I had read books and articles about this so I knew there was more to it. I had seen films and knew there could be so much more ecstasy while doing ‘it’. I was not satisfied. Of course there were times when it felt great…but those times were just a few. Mostly it was just him going in, doing his thing, and that’s it. Were women just an object where men came to do their thing...and then just go like that?
It was not until I met ‘my love’ that I realized what love making was about. The very first time with him was so different…it was a different approach that he had towards me. He made me feel special and loved. He took time to caress me...whisper in my ear, touch my body, and run his fingers through my hair. He made sure I was comfortable and was careful in what he did. There was so much passion in just that…’My love’ made me feel wanted, but not just wanted for his own pleasure…but wanted for us both to be pleased. It didn’t just feel that we were having sex as it felt that we were creating music and all the notes flowed so smoothly and it ended on a high note. That feeling was what I had longed for. That was what love making was about…feeling that high peak of ecstasy, of desire, of passion…of LOVE.
I was 25 and still a virgin. Being with someone intimately was something I had desired for a long time. My ‘sexual’ curiosity was awaken early on in my life so I pretty much lived with this curiosity for a long time. It wasn’t that I couldn’t get anybody…that is precisely why I was still a virgin at 25; I didn’t just want to give that to anybody. I wanted that “Special Someone.” Also I had been raised to believe that I needed to wait until marriage…but marriage was something that I saw way far out in the future and I just couldn’t wait. I’ve never been good at waiting. With this said, I met ‘my first’ when I was 25. We had been dating for 2 months when it happened. We had made out but never gone all the way until that rainy night. We were in the back seat of my car when things started heating up. I was scared, nervous, excited, I was not sure if I should do it. Was that really how I wanted to lose my virginity? In the back seat of my car? Did I want to give that to him? I think that desire that I had had for a while now took over me that I didn’t care. It was there already so I decided to go for it. It all happened so quickly that when it was over I was asking myself – Is that all? Is this what it’s supposed to feel like? I remember thinking that maybe next time it would feel a lot different. Well that was not the case. We had a two year relationship and most of the time it was just ‘sex.’ It was just about him…about him being pleased. I started to believe that ‘making love’ was just that…having sex.
I had read books and articles about this so I knew there was more to it. I had seen films and knew there could be so much more ecstasy while doing ‘it’. I was not satisfied. Of course there were times when it felt great…but those times were just a few. Mostly it was just him going in, doing his thing, and that’s it. Were women just an object where men came to do their thing...and then just go like that?
It was not until I met ‘my love’ that I realized what love making was about. The very first time with him was so different…it was a different approach that he had towards me. He made me feel special and loved. He took time to caress me...whisper in my ear, touch my body, and run his fingers through my hair. He made sure I was comfortable and was careful in what he did. There was so much passion in just that…’My love’ made me feel wanted, but not just wanted for his own pleasure…but wanted for us both to be pleased. It didn’t just feel that we were having sex as it felt that we were creating music and all the notes flowed so smoothly and it ended on a high note. That feeling was what I had longed for. That was what love making was about…feeling that high peak of ecstasy, of desire, of passion…of LOVE.
1 comment:
Yeah, that is the downfall of sex in a relationship. Once that door is open... it kind of clouds out everything else.
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